A story started must be ended... Let's continue then...
Well, getting rejected by a girl on the day after valentine's surely hurts a lot, but at that moment, I was thinking to myself that at least we could still be good friends like before... after she explained her decision to me that very night, she still asked me whether I'm ok or not, that was enough to comfort me although it wasn't much... however, did we return to normal after that? Sadly no... ;(
Starting from the very next day, everything changed... just like how the day turns to night, we turned from being close frens to total strangers... the situation was so depressing at the time... I was no longer able to greet her, talk to her, smile to her, joke or whatever... my emoness started to take over me that day, and for the next two weeks... initially I tried to understand that it was normal that she would react like that, because I hadn't reli explained to her what I was gonna do next... so after a few days, I decided to explain my stand to her...
I texted her that I wanted to see her as I thought it was more appropriate to do it face to face... but in the end, she refused to see me... at that very moment, I felt totally broken down... whether I cried or not, I dunno, but I only know that my heart ached immensely that I was just paralyzed at the spot for a few minutes... I thought we can't be couples is bad enough for me, but not even friends?!! Sigh... but in the end, I still told her through sms... she said we could still be close frens like before but she needed time... I was ok with that, n surely I did try to give her as much as she needed...
Around 7 weeks have passed now... although we do greet n talk to each other like normal, but it is nowhere near to how close we were in the past... we got on with life in very different ways... I'm still dwelling in this pain and emoness, while she continues to enjoy her life and being happy everyday... I know I shud be happy for her that she's happy, but sometimes I just can't stop myself from thinking that, throughout the whole incidence, the only one who cares is just me, she doesn't care at all... our once very close friendship doesn't matter to her anymore... =(
This might be the most depressing period in my whole life... my fren says I sunk too deep... is that a bad thing? I dunno, but right now, I am trying my best to let go... it is very very hard, as we see each other every weekday... I just can't wait for my MUFY life to end, so that I can use my very very long break to forget everything bad that had happened here, just like the way my feelings for her disappeared last year during the 2 months break... deep down in my heart, I know that I've lost a very good fren in life... but if u ask me if I regret my initial decision to confess to her, my answer is no... at least I won't be thinking of 'what could have been' in future... I just wanna wish her 'Good luck' in her life from here onwards... Sigh...
The End! =(
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