Am I two-faced?

Sometimes ppl say, under different conditions and hanging out with different ppl, u need to blend in so that u can get along well with others and be happy in the end... is that always true in life? I find myself doing that nowadays automatically, but whether I'm reli happy in the end is reli a different question... >.<


Specifically, I find myself turning into two completely different person when I'm with my gang from home, and when I'm with my gang from college... and honestly, I dun reli like the 'me' when I'm with my college frens... I feel like that's not the real me! When I'm with my hometown frens, I'm always the crazy guy who jokes a lot and say stupid stuffs to create a cheerful environment... I dun feel insecure when I'm with them, that's why I just love every second I spend with them... but things r so different when I'm with my college frens... I try not to talk too much crap when I'm with them, I just feel like somehow, they dun buy what I say... I always feel paranoid around them and worried if sth I say might cause unpleasant feelings to them... sigh...


I just came back from my trip to Sunway for my graduation... throughout the whole trip, the only time I reli felt like myself was when I went to Midvalley to meet with one of my hometown frens, Eric to celebrate his bd... That was precious as it's hard these days to meet my close buddies due to different study places and holidays... As for my college frens, as soon as I caught up with them, I became less talkative... why do I have a feeling that I'm not one of them, I dunno... somehow there's always this feeling that some of them dun like me... am I being too paranoid? Or is it true that some of them dun like me? >.<


I'll be having 5 years of degree starting next Feb... due to the present situation, at times I reli hope my holiday never ends... T.T but one shud always face the reality, I just hope the situation would be better in future... I pray to You, please help me, my heavenly Father from above! @.@