Never try never know..... (Part 1)

"Belum cuba belum tahu, sudah cuba hari-hari mahu!" (Ling, 2010)

Lol, that's what my roommate (Clement) used to tell me... Well, that sentence dun actually suit me 100%, but at least the first half is true, never try never know... It's been more than a month ago when anything and everything happened... I've been suppressing my true feelings for so long now, stopping myself from posting anything directly linked to the whole matter, but I reli dun care anymore! Blog is a place where ppl get to express themselves, and I feel that's the same with me... I dun care who's gonna read this.... >.<

So, let's do some story telling first... I have a particular female friend coursemate... knew her since the first few weeks last year when the program started... at first it was just normal, we were reli just normal frens, but after Raya break last year, we started getting closer a lot... why? I oso dunno, we just got along quite well, I guess, haha! So, in the end my flower heart started playing around with my feelings, I started having some weird feelings abt her, no actions taken though... During the year end break, we were supposed to stay in touch, but it didn't happen... and as I've mentioned of my flower heart, those feelings faded soon...

Fast forward to new semester this year, and we started getting along very well again... we actually became what u call 'close frens'... chatted a lot, cared abt each other, discussed whatever homework and exams... I started having feelings for her again, and one day, we spent the whole day at pyramid and watched a movie together, and walked from pyramid back to hostel together... the whole day spent was of cuz accompanied with lots of chatting, lots of secrets shared, which made me knew her a lot more... and after that very day, I was sure that........... I'd fallen for her...

I thought abt it for quite a long time after that... I needed to make sure it's not puppy love only, that's why I was delaying my move... but pops out the sentence by Clement... without ever trying, there will never be anything u'll know the results... So, I thought we were such close frens that time ady, and I did feel some connections/sparks between us (at least I did!! >.<), there was reli a chance at least fpr me to succeed... and finally I had to try... I chose the day after valentine's day to take my move... I was so over confident with myself that I would get her... but the following events would be the source of my intense emoness for the next few weeks..... =(

On that night, I went to her unit to cut a birthday cake for her with her frens... when everyone was gone, I took the opportunity to confess to her... I gave her another present as a symbol of my confession, but as soon as she received it, she already knew what I was gonna do and literally RAN AWAY from me! She went into her fren's room before I could say anything, and asked me to leave... By then, I reli didn't know whether it was a success or not... but it took her abt only 1 hour to give me an answer... she came to my unit, and we talked............ apparently, she knew I like her for a very long time dy and was pretending to not know... she said she only considered me as a friend only, OUCH!!

Upon reflection of whatever happened that night, I guessed she already knew long time of my feelings, and decided that one day, she was gonna reject me... It took her only 1 hour to give an answer, which I guess was planned already before... Sigh... it's just so painful and regretful that I never reli got the chance to express my true feelings towards her, but do u know what's even worse?? The worst of all is when u know the fact that it doesn't reli matter whether ur given the chance or not, u were always going to fail! =(

To be continued....

All About Me!! =)

Sometime last week, I came across this awesome blog of a friend of mine, currently in the same course as me in Sunway... I love the stuffs that she posted, quite interesting and two of her posts actually made me laugh on the spot, haha! Too bad the last time she blogged was back in December 2010, I guess she stopped blogging dy... Anyway, in one of her posts, she actually introduced herself in 30 random thoughts, wow! So it strikes me that I never reli introduced myself to all of u, readers of my blog, right? Haha... I'm going to adapt her style, hope she won't mind! So here it goes... =)


1. My name is Albert Yong Bee Sing. My Christian name starts with an 'A', which is the same for all my siblings.  But if u ask me why my parents chose 'Albert', honestly I have no idea... one thing's for certain though, I'm very proud of it, as it's not too common... hehe... Most of my frens call me 'Albert'... I dun have any nicknames at the moment, but a lot in the past, such as apek, bising (Bee Sing), 绵羊... Haha, luckily no one calls me those names anymore xP


2. I dun reli have any favourite colour in my life... but if u carefully observe, most of my shirts colours are normally black or white... it's not that I like them more, I guess it just suits me better, haha... but colours that I will never wear? Yellow, pink... Not for me, surely...


3. I wore specs since I was 6 years old! At such a young age, right? My mum said I stucked my eyes at the TV screen when I was small, but then again, why they never stopped me huh? Who knows, haha... maybe it's a gene too, both my dad and big brother wear specs... :)


4. I'm the middle child with two brothers and no sisters... My mum used to and still continue to stress on the fact that it's so tiring that she's the only female in the family... I wish I could help her more, but I'm still a boy, right? XD


5. Any phobia of mine? One, and please dun laugh... I'm scared of bugs, big bugs... I know I know, boys shouldn't be afraid of this stuff, it's a phobia, I can't help it...


6. I dun reli play any music instrument... learned flute once when I was 9 years old in the Boys Brigade band... stopped after a year... I'm actually very interested in learning guitar, but never reli got the chance to learn, oh well, my music dream continues...


7. I dun sleep a lot... one day 5 to 6 hours is enuf for me already... got used to it in National Service where u only sleep 6 hours maximum every night... and even if I can sleep as long as I want during weekends, I'll still only sleep for 8 hours...


8. I had two girlfriends before, one during form 4 and one last year... both didn't end up quite nicely... so, yeah, I might be a bad lover, haha...


9. My dream girl... Long hair (preferably straight, not curly), no specs, slim, height average, smart, knows how to cook, traditional, caring and loving, understanding, christian (preferably again), patient, respect towards elders, cheerful, pretty... ;)


10. I dun reli read a lot of books... did have an interest towards books when I was in primary school and after SPM when I was too free... loves detective stories and novels... now no more time for them, too bad... =(


11. I love to eat, especially delicious foods... One thing I love abt my hometown is that there's so much local delicacies which u dun find anywhere else... anyway, planning to go food hunting during my semester break in april... can't wait.. XD


12. I have lots of hobbies, such as listening to music, social networking... one of them has to be playing futsal... started playing futsal back in secondary schools, never reli good at it, but I still love it!


13. Oh ya, I love watching football oso... I'm a die hard Manchester United fan, ppl who knows me surely knows that... I try to watch every match my team plays, although I'm studying away from home... Started watching football when I was 8 years old, and the first match I watched was MU vs Liverpool, MU won 2-1! If Liverpool had won the match then, maybe I'll be a Liverpool fan now, haha...


14. I'm a JPA scholar, currently studying a course called MUFY (Monash University Foundation Year) in Sunway University, and going to pursue medicine course in Monash Malaysia... actually I never reli wanted to study medicine... I applied for dentistry at first, got rejected by JPA, and got this after reappeal...


15. I listen to all kinds of music, chinese and english... rock, pop, hip hop, R&B, even classical, u name it... however, english songs r my preference most of the time la... I update myself with the newest english songs through US Billboard... xP


16. I injured my ankles (both sides got) 3 times in my life... twice during futsal, once when my naughty fren pushed me down 10-15 levels of stairs... that was after UPSR and I had to go for physiotherapy (is that the name? dun quite remember) to heal my ankle... so injuries r no new matter to me anymore...


17. I'm not reli a gamer... only currently playing Fifa and Dota (very seldom) on my computer... the first ever game I played was Gunbound, quite nice to play last time, now not anymore... played Maple Story, CS and some other games before oso...


18. I used to sing ok... performed singing during form 2 and 3 with 'You Raise Me Up' and 'Beautiful Girls'... even got 2nd runner-up for a competition between form 3 students that time with 'Beautiful Girls' by Sean Kingston... too bad I dun sing anymore nowadays, my voice sucks now!


19. Sacrificed my voice in form 4 when I started becoming commander for Red Crescent's marching squad... my voice wasn't loud enuf at first, so in order in increase my voice, I shouted a lot and seriously, A LOT until I lost my singing voice forever in order to get a big voice for commanding... did won the Best Commander Award in a competition once, but I regret losing my voice in the first place for something so meaningless, sigh...


20. I am a Catholic since birth, and will always be forever... :)


21. My marriage in future must be held in my church, a Catholic church...


22. My future plans, marries around 26 to 28 years old... get 3 children, hopefully 2 boys 1 girl or vice versa...


23. I dun reli like to study... always studied last minute during secondary school, but forced to change nowadays due to mixing around with all the JPA nerds in my programme... no longer study last minute but surely not 2 weeks earlier... ^^


24. My chinese dialect is Foochow (福州话)... I'm a true foochow who speaks foochow at home with my family and most of my relatives... ppl here in college dun understand foochow at all, which is the best part of all... haha...


25. People thinks I'm an arrogant person who shows off too much, lol... I'm trying to change myself, although it's hard but I'm sure I'll achieve it one day! =)


26. I hope I can be 180cm tall, but too bad I can't get any taller anymore, stucked at 178cm... haha...


27. I love pets actually, both cats and dogs... too bad my parents didn't let me have any pet since young...


28. People's first impression of me... cold, not sociable/friendly, quiet, probably arrogant... might be caused by my lack of smiles... I can be a friendly person if u let me be ur fren... :-)


29. My dreams in life... travel to different places all around the world... get a lovely girlfriend/wife... become rich and let my parents enjoy their life... find a soulmate who would be my best fren in my whole life... just be happy!


30. I am God's blessed child! He looks after me at all times and I place my everything in His hands... =)

hectic life!! =(

ok, now to update u all on my current life after all that crap abt love, arrogance and change below... LOL... anyway, life is damn busy now... I had a free first weekend of this month, when I went to Cheras and visited my fren, Lawrence Kiing... U must be wondering why I didn't blog abt it? Oh well, due to some technical problems and out-of-sort planning, I guess next time would be better to blog abt it... Haha! So after that rare weekend, the whole freeness is gone again... everything is piling up once again and I'm expecting a miserable 2 weeks ahead... 

Just had a chemi assessment yesterday (Monday), which I spent the whole last weekend studying it... What's more agonizing is knowing that everyone back at home is having holidays right now! My big bro flew home from KK and my little bro started his one week school holidays... feels so pathetic that everyone is enjoying the weekend, while I'm stucked in CaSuck with my chemi books! Arrggghhh.... >.<

So, what's ahead? This week there's mock essay writing in class, but other than that, nothing else much though... the real spice is actually all on next week... Maths assessment, bio assessment and english theme study presentation assessment... all from Tues to Thurs next week!! This weekend is going to be another nerdy week once again... sigh~~~ So, yeah, that's roughly how my life is at the moment...

P.S. I'd like to point out that we should all pray for Japan in this catastrophic period. The death toll is on the rise and nuclear explosions have already occurred, leaving unknown consequences. God bless Japan! =)

Change...

Ok, this post is very short and simple... i have decided to... change... wish me luck... thx and sry...

Be yourself or don't be yourself?

I am someone who think a lot, sometimes I think too much... erm, actually not sometimes, is most of the time... Recently, I keep thinking abt what kind of a person I am and why many ppl dun like me... I mean like, I've known what kind of person I am for very long already, now I'm just trying to figure out what characteristics that ppl dun like abt me... 


After long periods of thinking, I concluded that the most significant one would be arrogance... ppl think I'm arrogant for some reason... and I'm not just talking abt ppl I know... even ppl I dunno oso criticize me as arrogant... one of my frens just told me last week that this indian girl whom I've never heard of before, dun like me because I'm too arrogant! 


Then of cuz I ask myself, why ppl think like that? Am I reli that arrogant? In my opinion, I dun reli consider myself as arrogant... u might say I'm ignorant, but that's ur own opinion... The way I see it, I am an outspoken person, I give opinions without doubts, I know what I'm doing and saying... But the situation now is, ppl see my confidence as a form of arrogance...


But ultimately, arrogance or confidence, ppl just dun like it... that's the main reason why I dun have many close frens... I'm always alone... If I ask ppl for advice, most ppl will say the same thing... "Dun think too much, just be urself." The problem now is, 'myself' is something ppl dun like, so shud I change? Shud I change my personality and become someone that is not me? What's ur opinion, guys? Be yourself or don't be yourself? Hmmm...

Love is in the air?? 0.0

As suggested by the topic itself, is love reli in the air lately? Maybe no for most of u, but it's certainly yes for ppl around me... haha... Lately, frens around me here in Sunway r becoming pairs n pairs, whether officially or not... I dunno why, it's just so weird, but ppl close to me, whom I normally consult to about my problems, are all either engaging in a relationship, or simply found the boy/girl of their life (now), and pending for a first move from one person or the other...


One example is one of my close frens (at least I regard her as one) in the same course as me. I dunno when it started, but she'd gotten a bf, haha... it's only recently that it reli started to get public... seeing the guy (oso a fren) holding her hand and walking with her... oh boy! Just like a pair of couples madly in love and wanting to spend every second of their lives with each other... one time I saw him n her coming out of the lift while I was waiting to go in... he held her hand and carefully led her out of the lift, but what's most significant is my close fren's expression... the loving way she looked at him, her eyes, her smile... oh gosh! I can't stop myself from recalling how it felt to be truly, madly, deeply in love with another girl...

Oh well, I cannot say I dun envy them... everyone desires to be loved, to have that special someone there to explore this beautiful world together, everyone including me... but not everyone is so lucky to find that special someone so quickly in life... I'll just be grateful with what I have now, which are family and frens... To all my fellow peers in love, may ur love last long and hopefully for eternity! Spread the love to all! =)