First week of the new sem

The first week of the new semester is over now. Actually there are many things that had happened in the past week that I don't know where to start with. Well, first of all, I got my results of the first semester exam back on Monday. Honestly, I'm quite disappointed in my results personally. My marks dropped by almost 10 marks from the last exam, sigh. The only consolation was that I still managed to luckily get into the 'High' category. Guess I'll need work much harder for the next exam.


However, I have to say, I study in an environment where if your results are better than some people, you cannot complain or express your disappointment in front of them, they'll think that you're trying to show off. Seriously, guys? I'm seriously saddened by my results dropping, is it so wrong to be disappointed about it? I'm trying to be true to my feelings, but I guess people just prefer me to be hypocritical. =.=


Alright, back to the 2nd semester of year 1, the curriculum seems to be tougher and busier than the last semester, though ironically the timetable looks emptier. I guess that's what human anatomy does to you, all the bones, muscles, vessels, nerves and blah blah blah. However, I'm still affected by my holiday mood and am still so lazy that I can't be bothered to study anything at all yet. In contrast, most of my course mates have already found their rhythm even before the new semester started. Medical students are so scary, huh?


Anyway, to wrap up the first week, our batch had a 'Captain Ball' competition among the groups on Friday after classes. I shall not explain the game here, don't see a point to it, haha. The game required teamwork, so it was perfect for us to bond with our new group mates in the new semester. Though I didn't contribute much, I had lots of fun and my group got 1st runner up, haha.


Hoping that I'll get my rhythm back soon enough. ^_^

Acceptance instead of emoness

I have come to a point in my life where, instead of always being emo about my status and lack of attraction to the opposite gender, I have succumbed to the acceptance of them. I used to be always emo about being unable to get the girl that I'm attracted to, and feeling so down when I see all the couples around me, whether I know them or not. Well, those days are over, temporarily at least. Now, I've just come to accept the fact that I'm just not that attractive to girls, both physically and mentally.

Personally, when I go around shopping in some mega malls or night markets, my eyes are always wandering around looking at random pretty girls walking pass me all the time. Not that I'm a maniac, no, it's just human's natural reactions to beautiful objects, which in this case, beautiful people. But after a while, I realized that no one's doing the same to me in return. The fact is I'm just not a beautiful guy where females' eyes would follow. Based on personal extractions of others honest opinions in the past, the general view is that my physical impression is categorized as nerdy, too serious and most of all, typical. The sad truth indeed.

I can indeed say I would occasionally turn emo because of everything I just mentioned, but those occasions are becoming less and less. The reason is as stated by the title above, acceptance. Acceptance that beautiful girls are just not meant to end up with me. Acceptance that I would be the near last guy to be noticed by girls in a room full of males and females. And eventually, acceptance that everything is in God's plan and it would be meaningless to make an effort to chase attractive girls since I'm gonna end up miserably.