I give up!

From today onward, I promise myself that I will never plan any trip or vacation to go anywhere with them ever again. Somehow these days, whenever I suggest on going somewhere, most of them would reject my ideas, one way or the other. I guess my plans and words are getting less and less appreciated these days. 

In year one, I planned for a Langkawi trip, everyone was so enthusiastic and the trip was great. In year two, I planned for a Kota Kinabalu trip, the number of people who agreed was half the number in year one, but the trip was still awesome. This year, I tried to plan for a Thailand/Bali trip, and you've guessed it, it was never going to happen. I understand why it's difficult, because we'll be crossing the border, and this might be hard for some of them to get their parents to agree. Some more, money will surely become an issue. 

I really understood all of those reasons, so I decided that instead of making our trip further and further each year, I planned for a small trip to the northern states of Malaysia, such as Penang and Perak. Just when I thought I've finally gotten most of them to agree with my plan, they came out with their own idea of going to Taman Negara. In the end, most of them preferred to do that. 

I really felt like shit, like no one cares about my efforts to try to plan trips for them. Surely I understand their reasons, some of them prefer tough activities rather than going on road trips, some of them just rather not drive their cars up to the north, I really understood. But still, I feel like shit. I tried so hard to make something happen, whether it's Thailand, Bali or north Malaysia, but in the end it's all useless. Why do I keep planning when I know they won't accept any of my ideas? I'm even scared to propose ideas to them these days, because of the rejections that I might get in the end.

Sometimes I really wish I have a girlfriend who shares my common interests, maybe I can plan so many trips with her and everything would be so awesome. When that so successful Langkawi trip ended, I really thought I have found a group of people who shares my interest in seeing the world, in going to different places and in living life.

I have never been so wrong.

The day that I dreaded the most

After so long, you finally have a crush on someone. Ever since I gave up around 3 years ago, you have always been single and perhaps available. Because of this, deep down in my heart, I've always thought that maybe I still have that little bit of hope of winning your heart one day. Even though in this 3 years, I dated someone else or liked some other girls, you have always been in my mind, I've never forgotten the girl I regard as 'perfect' in my life. Now that you have finally found someone special, I wish you can be happy, and I'll be happy for you too if this works out. Perhaps I can be the 黄晓明 in your life, and you can be the 赵薇 in my life too. No matter what, I'll always care about you, look at you from afar, and pray for you. Just take care, okay? :')